TISHA B'AV

I got very inspired by Rav Asaf Tabachnik on the night of Tisha B’Av, as he talked with us in an open conversation full of questions. We were all sitting on the ground on the beautiful Dizengoff Square in Tel Aviv, after reading Meguilat Eikha. Here is what I felt like sharing with you today, on this very day of 9 B’Av.

(Text updated this 13.8.24, as we sat on the ground this time in front of the magnificent wall of Jerusalem, people singing with all their hearts while Iran was threatening Israel… This night was magical.)

All year we are supposed to be grateful for what we have, to bring joy, and to see beauty in all situations. But today, it’s the only day where we are “sad.”

It’s not just about mourning the past history of the Temple destruction — it’s about feeling that our current reality is not enough. We deserve better. Our tools to perceive and express our neshama, our soul, are too small, too tight — we want more.

It’s a day where we can say that we are not satisfied — Lo Tov Li – לא טוב לי — in the sense of “I feel that this is incomplete.” On the scale of one day out of 365 in a year — 1/365 — that sounds pretty fair! Especially as it allows us not to settle, to always go further, deeper.

Incomplete from what? From connection. From being truly home — which is represented by the Beit (house) HaMikdash (sacred) ‏בית המקדש, that was destroyed on this day.

But why would the Divine need a home?

Well, the Divine is actually always there — but our connection to it is no longer direct, tangible, visible.

When we pray, we can feel like we’re talking alone, not being sure that there’s someone on the other end of the line.

It is said that during the times of the Beit HaMikdash, praying was a real conversation.

Because praying is actually like a home: you don’t go home to ask for something — you go there to meet, to visit your loved ones, to connect and talk. This makes you feel closer to them, and to your own self.

We miss feeling truly ourselves, being truly at home.

And when, one day, we are — at home, at least within ourselves — we know it right away. We feel suddenly complete, one. We feel the presence of the Shehina, the abundant Divine, enveloping us from within. We feel safe, we feel whole.

It may happen in a place — like some may feel visiting the Western Wall.

It may be within yourself, as you go through a deep meditation.

It may be with a person, when you meet someone whose pure heart resonates with yours…

I heard the beautiful metaphor of two lovers having a relationship only by phone, and getting used to talking only that way. 9 B’Av would be the day they would feel — this is actually not enough, it’s not everything. I know, I feel we can have a deeper connection. Finally, they meet physically — and realize the connection they were missing…

We say in Hebrew ירושלים – Yerushalayim — Jerusalem — is in the plural, but a plural we use for pairs: like knafayim – כנפיים (wings), or misparayim – מספריים (scissors), as they also have two parts, or enayim – עיניים (eyes). Because there are 2 Jerusalem!

Jerusalem is incomplete, or should I say it is separated, not unified. We say there’s the upper Jerusalem and the lower Jerusalem.

If, in Hebrew, Jerusalem was a singular word, it would be Yerushalem – ירושלם — Shalem – שלם, meaning complete, from the same root as shalom – שלום, peace.

That is why in the Jewish wedding tradition, we break a glass, not to forget Jerusalem is not yet complete and our joy can’t be complete neither when we get married — אם אשכחך ירושלים. Or why we leave, in Jewish homes, a square of raw cement: to show that even in this comfort, we shouldn’t settle — as we are incomplete.

As the lower, physical Jerusalem is without its temple, we must not forget the upper Jerusalem, the spiritual Jerusalem, the celestial Jerusalem. Because everything exists first in its essence, everything first exists spiritually, and then physically. So if the upper Jerusalem keeps on living spiritually in its essence within us, its potential to be created physically remains, indefinitely. It exists within us.

The Ari taught that the Divine spark exists within each one of us, and that through each one’s Tikun (reparation), we are elevating and revealing those lights.

On the macro scale as well, the universe is yearning to be uplifted and purified — through humanity uniting it with its Divine source.

In the Talmud we say that, as we pray:

if we are not in Israel, we should pray in the direction of Israel,

if we are in Israel, then in the direction of Jerusalem,

if we are in Jerusalem, then in the direction of the Beit HaMikdash.

Why not say directly to pray in the direction of the Beit HaMikdash?

Because to enter this deepest dimension, we need to go through three layers:

Israel — the national link, the land.

Then Jerusalem — the political entity, being the capital.

Then the Beit HaMikdash — the spiritual dimension.

If this spiritual layer is the deepest, it gives meaning to it all.

Without this spiritual dimension, what do we have left? What makes a home a home, if not this intangible aspect: the love, the brotherhood, the spirituality, the meaning.

Nobody would fight for an empty house. (Ref. Rav Cherki)

Within us, on our own human scale, we are also a house with those three layers.

When the body גוף, the physical aspects of it, needs something, it’s pretty straightforward to understand.

When it’s about our נפש – Nefesh, the mind and emotions, it is already more subtle — what do I feel? Do I need to be alone or do I need a hug…?

And when it is about the נשמה – Neshama, our soul — it is the most subtle. So subtle it seems even quiet: What is the meaning of my life?

How do I connect with something greater than myself?

So on 9 B’Av, we are invited to see / hear / meditate on / reflect on where the lack of connection is.

To introspect into ourselves and to really, deeply feel — I am not satisfied with this reality, I feel there’s more to it — to thrive for more physical and spiritual connection.

Also, you may know the story of the French emperor Napoleon Bonaparte that was amazed seeing people crying for a temple that was destroyed thousands of years before, he said the Jewish nation is strong and has for sure a great future as it remembers its past. But, when this special date arrives, we must be honest - it is not obvious to feel sad for the destruction of a Temple we have never seen, and that even our understanding cannot truly conceive. It’s not obvious to have tears and be truly deeply sad about it.

But actually, there is this spark within us that knows… It is like an inner compass, and when it’s right, we know. And when it’s missing something, we know. But we need to listen…

During 9 B’Av, we talk a lot about free love and free hatred, about introspection, about the ability to listen, to talk and act when you’re needed to, and to keep silent not to make a situation worse.

We need to keep on our mouth. As we are taking this day to reflect, you can say אני פה – “ani po” I’m here, but you could also read “ani pé” I’m a mouth. And this is a great inner work of today.

Watch how we speak, and the words we choose to speak — because we create this world with our words, just as vibration gives shape to matter in physics.

That’s how we create enough space within our hearts so it’ll be the home for the Divine — all of us being His Temple, in the meantime. Because our hearts are infinite.

Let’s be home and feel one. Let’s all feel like brothers and sisters in this home.

So today, on a national scale, it’s not about self-pitying ourselves over the Temple’s destruction — we are looking forward. First, by rebuilding and keeping alive within ourselves this spiritual Temple.

Let’s turn tonight’s קינות – lamentations into תיקון – reparations, and then ultimately into תינוק – a birthing child.

It’s all already there — all the letters — we just need to reorganize them.