ELUL - The Month of Introspection and Reconnecting with Our Divine Spark

Elul is a time to begin the Heshbon HaNefesh (חשבון הנפש)—the introspection we undertake in this final Hebrew month.

This introspection naturally begins with a simple question, phrased in different ways but always pointing to the same thing: Where am I now? It’s a question that touches on both space and time—considering where we come from, what we have done, and where we might want to go.

However, Jewish mysticism and metaphysics teach us that time and space are merely constructs of the mind, interpretations of vibrations and energies. In this deeper sense, we are asking ourselves other kind of questions, such as:

Where do I truly belong?

How should I align with my inner essence to fulfill my greater purpose?

What feels right to me?

What are the true intentions of my actions?

Can I take the full responsability for my life?

But to truly find the right question to ask us this year, here is some more information about Elul:

The Hebrew letter associated with this month in Kabbalistic astrology is Yod (י).

In the Sefer Yetzirah (ספר יצירה), we learn that the world was created through 22 frequencies—corresponding to the 22 Hebrew letters. In Hebrbew, the frequency and sound of these letters shape matter. Meditating on these letters can offer profound insights and transcendental experiences. Each letter has its own numerical value, and when combined into roots and words, they form the world in a logical and harmonious way.

The Yod represents the starting point—a dot, the Tzimtzum (צמצום), or contraction of Hashem* from creation to allow time and space to exist. It is the moment that leads to the Big Bang, the pre-existing concept that brings about the fertile world. Elul might seem like an ending, but it also holds this pre-existing concept of renewal. Soon, it will be Tishrei (תשרי), bringing the new year holidays of Rosh Hashanah (ראש השנה), Yom Kippur (יום כיפור), and Sukkot (סוכות). More than just a new year, it is a true renewal.

Through Heshbon HaNefesh (חשבון הנפש), we are reborn, and a universe within us can be revealed to the world in Tishrei.

The Yod is unique because it sits above the line and forms all other letters.

It represents spirituality—everything physical first exists as a spiritual essence. Yod is the spark of subtle light that expresses itself in the physical realm. This spark is what we seek to connect with during this month’s introspection. If we miss this opportunity, we will still be reborn, but without living in our full potential. We will feel the heaviness of physical matter, disconnected from its essence. Thus, the question for Heshbon HaNefesh (חשבון הנפש) should not be framed in terms of time and space but in a more spiritual sense:

How can I connect to my divine spark, my Yod (י), my home?

This Yod (י) is our spiritual essence, the original spark that feels like home—something only our Neshama (נשמה, soul) can comprehend, beyond the intellect.

When we feel lonely and seek belonging, we often look to where we grew up, to our family, culture, religion, or ancestors. We long to feel part of something.

Our first physical home was our mother’s womb, in which we were still connected to our divine spark. According to the Talmud (Niddah 30b), an angel teaches us all the wisdom of the Torah while we are in the womb, but just before birth, the angel places a finger on our lips, causing us to forget it all. It is believed that the little mark above our upper lip, the philtrum, is where the angel touched us. This sets us on the journey of rediscovering that divine connection throughout our lives.

Just as Tzimtzum (צמצום) involves Hashem creating space within Himself for creation, women create a sacred space within their womb, full of wisdom. In Judaism, spirituality (understood as a way of life, not just religion) is passed through the mother, like spiritual genetics. The ethics, values, and traditions that build the soul of a home are the responsibility of the wife, formed through the three feminine mitzvot: Challah (חלה), Nida (נידה), and Hadlaka (הדלקת נרות).

A home is not just walls, but the Neshama (נשמה) that makes it feel right.

By understanding that “home” is an intangible concept with many physical aspects—walls, places, people, ideologies, actions, traditions, or foods—we reveal its true spiritual essence.

This month, through introspection and the Shofar’s call (a ram's horn blown), we awaken our divine spark and reconnect with our spiritual essence. It is said that during this month, Hashem’s presence is more visible, helping us realize that it resides within us.

The destruction of the Beit HaMikdash (בית המקדש, Sacred Temple) is often linked to the absence of the Shekhina* (שכינה), the Divine Presence (Feminine concept), but when we create a home—under the Huppah (חופה, Jewish wedding)—we invite the Shekhina (שכינה). This is symbolized by the woman’s veil, as the Shekhina’s light shines through her face.

Jerusalem, or Yerushalayim (ירושלים) in Hebrew, is a plural word, like shoes (Na’alayim נעליים) or eyes (Einayim עיניים). This reflects the idea of two Jerusalems: a physical one and a spiritual one. While the physical Jerusalem may no longer be intact, the spiritual Jerusalem remains within each of us.

This leads to the metaphysical concept of love. In Hebrew, Ahava (אהבה) has a numerical value of 13, the same as the word One (Echad אחד). When we embody the frequency of Ahava (אהבה), we experience the oneness and interconnectedness of all things. This transcends space and time, much like the love between a mother and child or between two lovers. It’s a love that intellect can’t fully define, and it’s through this love that we create a home for the divine, create life, and build a family. This is the ultimate act of kindness and love.

In this introspection, we aim to connect with our divine spark, to feel at home, and ultimately, to access and connect to the divine, the One, Hashem. Understanding our true selves and the purpose of our existence is the essence of Elul—marking both the conclusion of one creation and the beginning of renewal.

From this spark, this essence, we return to who we truly are. Our spiritual essence manifests in our physical actions and words. Therefore, we must be mindful of the words we speak and the vibrations our actions create. We should consider their origins, the seeds we nurture, and the intentions behind every step, ensuring they align with our core values.

As we reflect on the themes of Elul, I invite you to take time for a meditation on the letter Yod (י), focusing on its symbolism of beginnings, spiritual essence, and the spark of divine potential within. You can meditate on its shape, sound, drawing it, singing it, visualizing it, and observe simply what comes up for you, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.

You might also consider journaling about the question posed here — How can I connect to my divine spark, my Yod (י), my home? — or even practice Hitbodedut, a form of personal, secluded prayer or conversation with God (an approach rooted in Hasidic tradition, often done in nature or in quiet spaces, where you speak freely to gain clarity and insight).

These practices can help deepen your introspection during this meaningful time, guiding you to a true and authentic Teshuva תשובה—which literally means "answer"—to get the answer to our questions. Elul is the month of the Teshuva. Teshuva, in the religious sense, is often understood as a return to religious observance. However, Judaism is not a religion, but a spirituality, our divine spiritual essence that manifests in the physical realm. This is why Teshuva is about embodying our Judaism—Judaism is simply a way to connect to our divine spark.

In the word Teshuva, you hear "shuv" שוב, meaning "return"—a coming back to yourself, to your origin frequency.

Rosh Hodesh Tov!

Julia

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*Hashem:

God is not just a concept but a collection of divine manifestations that we recognize through many names. In the Shema Yisrael prayer, we declare that despite these many forms, God is One—a unity that connects us all. In daily life, we often refer to God as HaShem (השם), meaning "The Name." This is because God's true name, represented by the tetragrammaton (Y-H-V-H), is beyond pronunciation, signifying a deeper essence that cannot be fully grasped by words. In the story of Adam in Gan Eden, his first responsibility was to name all creatures, illustrating the profound connection between naming and meaning. In Hebrew, names carry spiritual significance, often guiding a person’s life purpose and destiny. Similarly, HaShem reflects this idea: by naming the divine, we give it a form to connect with, yet acknowledge that the true essence remains beyond definition.

*Shekhina:

The Shekhina represents the divine presence and is often described with a feminine aspect because it manifests itself in the physical world. While the masculine represents potential and abundance, the feminine is the expression of that potential, giving it form in the physical realm. A clear example of this balance is found in the creation of life: the masculine principle is like sperm, abundant and full of potential, while the feminine is like the ovule, limited in number yet essential for giving shape to this potential, bringing forth new life. Neither principle is superior; they are complementary, working together to create balance. The Shekhina is present whenever there is a space that can host this abundant masculine potential—as seen in places like the home under the Huppah at a wedding or the Temple of Jerusalem, which hosts the presence of HaKadosh Baruch Hu (one name of Hashem). The Shekhina, then, embodies the channel through which the divine potential expresses itself in the world, creating a sacred unity between the spiritual and physical.