ADAR - Fighting the doubt and being in Joy

Tetsave parashah sheds light on the notion of doubt ספק - same numerical value as Amalek עמלק - character who tried to destroy the Jewish people.

Amalek, an atheist, induces doubt at the individual and collective level of the presence of Hashem in our lives. Amalek has an irrational hatred towards the Jewish people. Hachem tells Moshe to erase the trace of Amalek from under the sky מתחת השמים. Amalek's strength is in fact its ability to cut us off from the sky. Symbolically, it is the tetragrammaton יהוה (one of the most elevated expression of the divine) that is shaken, the sky is separated from the earth, the יה from the וה. The yod י and the he ה refer to the spiritual force linked to the higher world. The vav ו and the he ה constitute the divine unveiling in the material world. This is what allows us to recognize Hachem in every element of the world. The flow that links the spiritual and material worlds is represented by the letter vav ו, a vertical line from top to bottom, the divine conduit through which we receive abundance. Amalek absolutely denies the existence of this vav. (you can replace the word Amalek by the word doubt, Safek in this past sentence).

The first occurrence of this letter ו appears in Bereshit, in the first verse Hachem created the earth and the sky.

בראשית, ברא אלוהים, את השמיים, ואת הארץ

The first vav of the Torah therefore marks the link between infinite spirituality and existence here below. By attacking us, Amalek challenges this connection to the divine. The completeness of the divine name is a sign of divine timelessness: He was, He is, He will be. Without the vav, we find He was, היה, He will be, יהיה and no longer the present הווה (hove), He is.

The speech of Amalek can therefore be symbolized: "we can admit that at the time, the uses were what they were, we can also admit a future redemption עולם הבא olam aba. But for the present, it seems that Hachem is no longer connected with us."

Doubt blocks and puts us in pause, prevents us to be active. Judaism and the Torah invite us to fight against doubt through action and the art of asking questions, because the question fertilizes and refines reflection, unlike the irrationality of Amalek's hatred. The passage to action, concrete and rational, is taught to us through the Megilah of Esther. However, the name of Hashem is never mentioned there, Hachem is silent and invisible.

From the first exile, the evidence of Hachem existence is no longer visible, but many winks appear despite this apparent absence and silence. However, signs are everywhere to the one that can see - the more you're aligned and true to yourself, the more life feels harmonious and synchronized from within and your whole environment. The more you follow your life's mission, which is following / acting on the things you feel attracted to (subjects, concepts, ideas, places, people...) with no apparent reason (it really comes from your essence and not from another source like the social pressure), the more you express yourself artistically, you feel guided, doors are opening. To follow this path, to follow our intuition, we need first to overcome some obstacles like fears and pre-constructed ideas of what is right for us. But all of those steps, whether we judge them as good or bad, are each one with the same importance part of this journey that we can choose to be grateful for.

This is simply (divinely) how life physically and biologically works, just like our cells within our body - if they are not acting according to their purpose, which is the message they're supposed to deliver according to the overall body organizational plan, they degenerate into cancer cells or die. Hum well, let's continue!

An idea to feel this presence of Hashem is Jewish meditation: an exercise is to repeat like a mantra "ribbono shel olam" ‏ריבונו של עולם - master of the universe. But olam in Hebrew comes from the root עלמ alam which means hidden / not appearing. So in fact it's about repeating the words, in order to reach a state of consciousness that allows us to get closer to Hashem in the dimension of feeling that hidden behind each inch of the universe, there is a “master”. It’s all organized information. We become more aware of the reality hidden behind the visible reality. There’s no right way to do this exercice, you can sit stand or walk, it can be said, chanted or not vocalized but you should at least be moving the lips.

Coming back to the megila, it ends with the triumph of the Jewish people. This story is not a personal story but a collective one. All the descendants of Queen Esther inherit this strength, this potential to save an entire people. Each one of us at their level and in their circle of influence can change the situation. Each one of us has a role to play as we are all parts of this organized universe just like each one of our cells are all parts of our functioning body organization, each one having a message to deliver, a purpose for it all to work harmoniously. We must understand the responsibility we have towards others. Transform our “do” or “what if” questions into “how”.

And after the doubt, the other responsibility is that of joy שמחה (simha). Removing doubt allows us to reconnect with the Emuna אמונה the faith. It is a work like a muscle we need to train with discipline. This is how we regain our ability to act. Simha is action. This is why we are called, not to be joyful, but to be in joy - בשמחה. As we said at the beginning of this month of Adar, this month is all about the water element, being flexible and communicative, facing our deep emotions and transmuting them into joy, as the sens of this month in Kabbalistic astrology is the laugh צחוק (each month has a sens emphasized to work on in Jewish mysticism). By the way, laughter meditation is a great practice too! Here some info about it: Laughter Meditation.

Transmuting an emotion is to first acknowledge and feel it within our body physically, then diving into it with our consciousness, putting the emotions in a strainer to keep the gratitude and the compassion, and subsequently enriching our perception, changing the narrative, and avoiding above all self-pity. All emotions even paradoxical can be within us together, and it’s our responsibility to chose the life and see the beauty through all of them. It’s a practice, it requires efforts and discipline, and it’s never for granted.

That being said, this week we arrive at the climax both challenging and freeing of this Adar joy vibes, with Pourim and the full moon! Take it as a weather broadcast, to be curious to observe yourself mindfully, getting to know yourself and becoming the master of your being in order to express your full potential!

Kabbalistic astrology is sending us the message to be aware of and overcome our limitations especially in the social space, communicating right, and to transmute our perception of what seems “normal” into sacred, like turning routines into rituals, to come back to the essence of things. That is why we put masks on during Pourim and drink - to express only our truth within the joy.

I hope all of this can resonate with you 🙏🏼✨